


Unfair, the Force Is

by bell (bellaboo)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: But sincere, Force Ghosts!, M/M, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 12:03:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5625922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellaboo/pseuds/bell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Here I was, a good Jedi my whole life, never doing wrong-- though I came close a few times-- always following the will of the Force, listened to my Master Qui-Gon, flossed my teeth, brainwashed the minds of the weak and wrong-minded for their own benefit... I've lived a life of patience, good will, and compassion."</p>
<p>"And?"</p>
<p>"You go to the Dark Side for twenty years, commit who knows what atrocities, come back-- but haven't aged a day since you turned?"</p>
<p>"That's not my fault! Blame the Force! It just happened!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unfair, the Force Is

"Alone, I will leave you two."

"That's not necessary, Yoda, we are happy to be with you."

"That I do not doubt. However, much to catch up, have you two. Around, I rather not be."

Yoda warbled off, pretending to be a hunchbacked limper even in the afterlife.

Obi-Wan turned to Anakin, smiling fondly. "It is good to see you again, Anakin."

"As it is to see you, Obi-Wan."

"Just..." Obi-wan scratched his beard, tilting his head to the side as he focused his gaze on Anakin's face. "No, I don't think it's fair."

"Fair?" Uh-oh.

"Here I was, a good Jedi my whole life, never doing wrong-- though I came close a few times-- always following the will of the Force, listened to my Master Qui-Gon, flossed my teeth, brainwashed the minds of the weak and wrong-minded for their own benefit... I've lived a life of patience, good will, and compassion."

"And?"

"You go to the Dark Side for twenty years, commit who knows what atrocities, come back-- but haven't aged a day since you turned?"

"That's not my fault! Blame the Force! It just happened!"

"I'm old, and if I could *feel* anything, I'm sure my arthritis and chronic back aches would be back in an instant!"

"Hey, if I came back as I was a few hours ago, how would I walk? I'd be stuck on my back on the floor, no arms and no legs, which, let me remind you, was your fault, you of infinite compassion."

"We don't walk, young one, we float. We're not physical."

"Young one?!"

"Yes. In life I was your elder by sixteen years, and in death by two."

"Never will be your equal, will I, Obi-Wan?"

"On the contrary, we are equals now. You just LOOK like a boy, green and inexperienced."

"I," Anakin said with as much dignity as he could muster, "have experiences you could only dream of."

"Of crushing windpipes and sitting in egg-shaped rooms lined with tvs, sure. But how much have you've gotten lately?"

"Excuse me?"

"You know, sex. I'm sure you weren't getting much in that black suit of doom."

"Probably as much as you were getting on that desert."

"Oh, you have no idea." Obi-Wan got a distant look in his eyes. "You have no idea."

"I want you to know that if I had a room, I'd be storming off to it right now."

"You could go follow Yoda, he'll be happy to tell you about all the stew recipes for local-trees moss he came up with while living on a bog-filled planet. You have to admire his perseverance. Did you know that if you crush the branches from Elbernon bushes and grind it into your food, you can get a month's worth of Vitamin E? (Though he didn't specify WHICH species' month's worth.)"

"...I'll stay here with you."

"Good, then I can tell about the triple-breas--"

Moved to desperation, Anakin grabbed Obi-Wan by his faintly glowing shoulders, and kissed him as hard as he could. His hands didn't go through his body, and with his mouth his could feel his lips, his tongue. "You SURE we're not physical?"

Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around Anakin's waist. "I was wondering how long it'd take you."

"What about your arthritis and constant back aches?"

"I made that up, I was in perfect health when I died. Fortunately, otherwise I wouldn't enjoy this afterlife nearly as much."

"What about your sexcapades?"

"Those are true."

"But you'll shut up about them, won't you?"

"Only if you keep kissing me."

Anakin entwined his fingers into Obi-Wan's white hair, feeling the softness of the strands, comparing it to how thick they once were. With his left hand he traced some of the wrinkles, around the eyes, on that familiar face, feeling for himself how much had passed for Obi-Wan. "You haven't changed a bit, old man."

"And you, Anakin, are a brand-new person."

**BONUS**

"Though I'm happy with these turn of events, would you mind if we took them elsewhere?"

"Why?"

"Because Luke can see us here, and while you shirked your diaper-changing duties, I took them on for you, and I'd feel weird if he watched us."

Anakin wrinkled his nose. "I don't think he'd watch us, Obi-Wan."

"He's a strange boy, your son."

"How strange?"

"He thought his sister was hot."

"Let's go."


End file.
